Best
by SweetHeartxx
Summary: What do you do when you lose the person you've known forever, the one you love with all your heart? What if it was all your fault that they were gone? Rating for suicidal themes, and implied self-injury.


**Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine... and so on. The only thing I can claim as my own is the plot...**

Best

_It was too much for you. But what… what if life without you is too much for me?_

Her body was hunched over the side of the bed, clumps of muddy brown hair, hair like her mother's, were clenched between her fingers, closed in her two fists. She loosened her death grip, lifting her head. Her usually bright blue eyes, filled with life, were dull and clouded over, the mascara she had been wearing smudging her pale complexion. This wasn't fair, not fair at all.

_Beep… beep… boop… beep…_

The monitor traced a thin green line on the screen, rising and falling with the chest of the body. Artificial life support, respiratory aide, that's all that kept the air flow going. Without it, the patient would surely be dead.

_The small boy ran out in front of her, waving his arms wildly, circling the yard, wearing a thin track in the long grass. He was giggling, running around, pretending he was flying on a broomstick. He was only four then, but he hadn't grown much, had he. He still had the most innocent heart._

"_Rosie," He stopped his silly running, dancing about the yard, now making frantic motions with his hands. "Rosie, hurry," he was kneeling in the grass, and she hurried to his side. There was a small bird lying there. "Rosie, I think it's hurt."_

_No, it was more than hurt, she was six and a half, and she knew what was happening. It was dying, but she wouldn't tell him that, he was only four. He wouldn't understand._

"_Go get mommy." She whispered in his ear as she knelt beside the bird and lifted it onto the folds of her skirt. The poor thing; the birdie was going to die, and soon._

That was the day that Hugo learned about death; that was the day that Rose decided death was too hard, that she should have been able to help. That was the day she vowed to grow up and be a healer, a witch who would make sure that others didn't die, not on her watch.

But what a joke, she couldn't even save him, the person that meant the most to her in the world. He needed to wake up, she needed to know it wasn't just those bloody muggle machines that were keeping his chest rising and his heart beating. He should be at St. Mungo's, she should be treating him. No, he shouldn't be here at all, she should have seen it coming, she should have been able to stop him from going this far.

His blonde hair was disheveled from the struggle they'd had, his eyelids were covering those lively chocolate orbs. He never had fit into the family; he always stood out with his uncharacteristically unique features. But that had never stopped her from loving him, hadn't stopped him from loving her.

_Wake up, you idiot. Wake up._

Tears streamed down, dripping onto the white sheets covering his bed, black stains covering small spots of the blankets. Black, streams of black flowing down her fair skin, black stains on the white. Black holes, darkness, beginning to show in everything; her eyes squeezed shut and her sobs racked her body harder.

_She had fainted, her light brown hair fanning out around her freckled skin. She knew that she should have gone inside long ago, that the sun was getting to her. And she was going to, but their cousins, they were there, and Aunt Ginny and Uncle Harry._

"_Rosie!" She had been unconscious but she had heard his voice. "Rosie, I'm here. Wake up, Rose." Her lips allowed one small sound to escape, a small gasp of air as a small cool hand pressed against her forehead. Hugo was by her side from the beginning, helping her, he was talking to her, coaxing her until her eyes fluttered open. _

"_You're okay." He smiled widely, his two front teeth missing. Gosh he had been so adorable when he was seven. Hugo threw his arms eagerly around her before pulling back rather quickly. "I didn't hurt you…"_

_Rose lifted her arms around her little brother and smiled. "Hurt me?" She giggled as he returned her hug. "You're my baby brother, Hugo. You could never hurt me if you tried." She stuck her tongue out at him and he gave her a gentle shove back to the ground. _

Hugo never could have hurt her. Rose never thought it possible, even once he got taller, stronger, Hugo was always a teddy bear, couldn't hurt a fly. All that she knew was that right now, here, as she clutched at the sheets, tears streaming constantly down her cheeks, he had hurt her.

He must have been dropping her hints all week. The scars that he kept showing her, the way he would catch her at odd times, ask to talk. But she was too busy, too busy to speak to him. She was too busy saving people to save her own brother. And that was what hurt worst of all.

_Beep…… beep…… boop…… beep……_

His chest, his breathing, even with artificial help was no longer keeping even. Her brother, her baby brother was dying. Rose clenched her fist and pounded the mattress of the hospital. Where were their parents, they should have been here by now.

"Hugo, you brat, why would you do this to yourself? You silly boy, why?" Rose droned on and on, softly, silently.

"_I wish I could go with you, Rose." His voice was still squeaky, but now they stood eye level with one another. He was a sprout, wasn't he? She was getting ready to set foot on the train, the Hogwarts Express. And even now, the person she would miss the most, Rose wouldn't miss her mother, not her father, no. The person she would miss the most was Hugo, her little brother, her best friend and always the first person on her mind._

_She reached her hand out and ruffled his golden hair. "Huey, I wish you could come too." Rose pulled her little brother into a hug and smiled as he squirmed. Oh, sweet little brother, growing up. There was a reason she had waited for her cousins to board the train. She knew that Lily was the only one who wouldn't give her brother a hard time about it later._

_She placed a quick peck on Hugo's cheek. "Soon enough," Rose's face lit up. Two years later, "Soon enough, you'll be coming with all of us." She smiled but she held him close. "Now you don't go being a silly boy while I'm gone, Huey; you be a good boy." _

"_Rosie Posy, I'll miss you." Hugo grinned as she scrunched up her nose. Rose hated that nickname; only Hugo could call her that without being quickly and firmly slapped upside the head. _

"_Now, be a good boy. Take care of yourself." Rose whispered, not wanting her parents to get the idea that she cared so much about Hugo. Then they'd have to behave. _

They'd have to behave. Behave? The two of them; had they ever behaved? If they both behaved, they never would have been here… Where was everyone; Hugo was dying. Her Hugo was dying. And she couldn't do anything to help him.

How? Hugo Oliver Weasley, how could you seek this kind of peace? How could one even consider this peace? Rose released the sheets, her knuckles having lost their color at her grip. "Hugo Oliver Weasley, you said you'd be there for me. You've always been my best, brother, friend, my best everything. How could you just… just leave me like this?"

Her fiancé had been over the other day, said he'd seen Hugo. He'd told her that they'd talked, that something about Hugo had seemed off. Rose had just shrugged it off, said that Hugo was probably exhausted from a long day of work, something small like that. Why hadn't she paid more attention?

_Beep…… beep…… boop…… beep……_

The line moved up and down, the only sort of comfort, a song of relief for her weary soul. Silly boy… what was he thinking?

_The rain fell upon the Ravenclaw tower as she looked up at the sky. Tears ran down her cheeks. She was in her fifth year; Rose's heart was beating slowly, her breath ragged. He'd broken her heart; her boyfriend was cheating on her… with Molly. And neither of them had the nerve to say anything? Rose was shaking; she needed her teddy bear, but her friends, they had taken Huber away from her three years ago, just before Hugo came to Hogwarts. _

_Rose hadn't missed him until now; now, in the middle of the night, when Hugo was probably asleep, far away with his Hufflepuff friends. But Rose couldn't help it, she needed her baby brother. Rose had always needed her little brother. _

Rose had always needed Hugo. Always… And now…

_He was growing up; her little brother was growing up. Sixth year… well, he was a fourth year, the sweetheart, finally landed his first girl. Wow, that sounded like something coming from a guy, not a girl, certainly not her. But heck, she was bloody proud of Hugo. He deserved a girl in his life, besides her that was. _

_He was so cute though. He was dating a girl, Ravenclaw, really bright girl, really sweet. But before he'd ask her out, he had to talk to her first. Hugo told her all their cousins were on his case, wondered why he hadn't had a girl yet… joked that even Lily had a boy friend, and well they'd joked that Rose had too, even if she could only hold onto him for a few weeks. That had made her angry, but she made sure big cousin James got an earful later._

_He really was adorable. Rose had just grinned and hugged him; if they weren't related, people would have started to wonder about them, Rose was such a nut for hugs, no matter who was around or if she embarrassed the face off Hugo._

"_That's wonderful." She grinned, of course she was congratulating him _before _he got the girl. But heck, that was so sweet._

"_You don't think she'll find it… she won't think I'm just trying to get the others off my case?" He was always so considerate of other people, so compassionate, looking out for their best interest. Such a sweet heart. _

"_Hugo, how could anyone ever doubt _you?_"_

And it was true, Rose had never doubted Hugo. He had promised to be the best man at her wedding, but now this. Rose ran her fingers beneath her eyes, eager to wipe away some of the mess that had gathered there. She wanted to look at her brother, to remember him forever, but why did that matter; he was _not_ leaving her today.

Hugo was her go to man, her best friend. He was the one who told her everything was alright, taught her that when it rained, you weren't supposed to stay inside and be sad, that you should go outside and dance. So what had made things so hard for him, so terrible that he felt the need to give up? He was Hugo Weasley; Weasleys did not quit, they never quit… especially not Hugo. What had happened to her baby boy?

The wedding, how could she think of her wedding… Hugo…

Rose ran the back of her hands along the side of Hugo's pale, lifeless face. His skin was so cold, he looked so… still. The tears pricked at her eyes again.

"_Rose Weasley, you are not dating the spawn of Malfoy!" Tears filled her eyes as her dad wagged his finger at her. Christmas holidays were supposed to be happy; but Hugo had accidentally mentioned Scorpius's name. Rose didn't blame her brother, but the way her dad was looking at her…_

"_Did you hear me? Rose Weasley, you are not dating him. End of story. You can tell him when you head back after break." She understood her dad never liked Scorpius's father, but that didn't mean that Scorpius was like his father. So what if she never saw him again after this year, she had to know if things between them would work. She had never felt like this about anyone before. She would not let her father stop her from dating him. She'd just have to teach Hugo to keep his mouth shut for future encounters._

_Hugo had no idea how much Scorpius meant to her. "…" Rose had opened her mouth to speak but couldn't find words for her father. She'd never disobeyed him so blatantly before. _

"_Dad, Scorpius isn't half bad, really." Hugo? Oh, her brother was her hero…_

He was her hero, but heroes didn't die, no they couldn't die.

What had happened to that little boy? Sure, now that Rose was getting married she wouldn't be around the house anymore, but Hugo had moved out right from school, been living with Al and James (when he decided to take back a few drinks too many). Even so, Rose would be lost without him.

Rose reached for a white hand, one larger than her own, and held it tightly, comforted despite the fact that it was ice cold, only because she felt a small squeeze. Perhaps she had imagined the whole thing; she probably had, Merlin knew she couldn't believe he was dead, that would be giving in. But who was she kidding; Hugo was the one who always picked out the bright side of things, an optimist until the very end…

"_You don't think dad will murder me, do you?" Less than a year ago, Rose had more or less asked Hugo's permission to marry Scorpius; she was too afraid to ask her own father. He still held his grudge, and if they got married, Draco would be at the wedding… he would be her father-in-law._

"_Rose, don't be silly. Dad will be thrilled. His baby girl's all grown up." Hugo joked. Look at them, they were both grown up; he was so much different from the child he'd once been, standing a few inches taller, broad shouldered, but still that lovely blonde hair… "You've got nothing to worry about." He had given her a warm hug and before they left the pub, he gave her hand a gentle squeeze, reminding her that she just had to breathe._

Breathe… that seemed to be the center of her focus right now. Not her own breathing, but the assisted breathing Hugo was doing, his chest rising and falling, the machine emitting it's soft drone of noise, noise she had all but tuned out.

Nothing mattered right now, except that he kept on breathing. They could make it…

_Beep…… beep…… boop…… beep……_

The line rose and fell to the gentle rhythm which had steadied itself for the moment.

_Hugo, I can't lose you… You've always been there to catch me… Why couldn't I…_

Rose broke out in sobs again. This shouldn't be happening; she should have been able to stop him… Rose needed to save him; but she couldn't. Her magic couldn't make her breathe… nothing could, but those damn artificial machines, and they seemed to be losing the fight for her brother.

"Hugo, you brat, why would you do this?" Rose mumbled as she let her head fall back to the mattress, closing her eyes as the tears came and came and came. Her brown hair fanned out, hiding her face. She must look like a mess, but for once, nothing else mattered. For the first to time in what was too long, Rose and Hugo were alone together. But this was a rare occasion.

Despite their small arguments, they were always close, best friends. "Best friends, Huey, we're best friends. Best friends don't do this to each other…" _No, best friends don't rip your heart out like this_. "You said… you'd always be there." Rose was too choked up now to say any more. The tears, the pain, they were too much for her…

This was all _her_ fault; she could have stopped him. Rose could have saved her baby brother, but she didn't…

_He'd been dropping her hints that something was wrong for a week now. Rose was confused, scared… one time, he sounded half drunk, he'd left her a message and told her he wasn't sure about this wedding anymore. That he was being a selfish little brat, but he wasn't sure if he could handle it._

_Rose needed to see Hugo, to talk to him for herself…_

_As was the common thing, Al and Hugo's door was unlocked, so Rose let herself right in. Her footsteps or the click of the door, must have startled him because the knife slipped… well, she thought it had slipped, but it hadn't._

"_Rose…" Hugo seemed surprised. Rose was worried, reached for her wand, but Hugo… "Expelliarmus," He was ahead of her, and he caught her wand. "I'm sorry Rose… you weren't supposed to… see me like this…"_

_There was a snapping of fine wood, cleanly, evenly into two halves of a whole. "Rose… I love you, but…"_

"_Hugo…" She hadn't known what to say, what to do… she just stood there and watched…_

What was she supposed to do? What could she say… he knew full well what he was doing? This wasn't an accident, not for him anyway. But what had happened… he didn't even tell her why. They talked about everything…

It was all her fault; Rose should have seen the signs, she knew them all…

What made him do it? The only thing that was about to change was that she was getting married… But Rose would always be his sister; he would always be her favorite. He couldn't have done this because of her… what he'd said… he hadn't really meant it… had he?

It couldn't have been her fault; how could she live with herself if it was? Rose lifted her head; her sad eyes fixed themselves on the monitor, just in time to see the path of the line change. She was suddenly alert, eyes wide, staring at the limp form in the bed. It couldn't be…

_Beep………_

The line rose…

"If you can't live for yourself…"

_Beep………_

The line dropped…

Tears fell from her eyes as she bent over her brother's body. "Could you…"

_Boop………_

The line rose again…

"Could you live…" His hand was falling limp in hers, and she held tighter. This couldn't be happening.

_Beep………_

The line fell…

"For me?" Rose's voice was hoarse, and her question fell on deaf ears, the strength rushing from her as the sirens started going off. "Please, Huey… for me…" Rose's head dropped onto the white blanket, sobs over taking her. He couldn't leave her, he just couldn't. Not like this; he couldn't go without saying goodbye.

"It was too much for you. But what… what if life without you is too much for me?"

**A/N: Written for sick-atxxheart's "The Suicide Challenge" on HPFC. Hugo is my favorite next generation character, I cannot believe I just killed him... I know their relationship seems a bit, unusual to say the least, but it's based on a set of siblings I know personally. Please read and review, I feel like I messed this up horribly, I'd love to know what you thought about it. **


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